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"I've gotten so much out of them and I don't think I would be where I am today in my journey of processing and grieving my miscarriage if it wasn't for this. So, I'm really grateful."
One in four pregnant women loses their child before they are born to miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. That's over 10,000 women across the english speaking world alone, every single day.
Many of us, along with our partners and families, are completely unprepared for the physical trauma that may come from the surgery, medication or D&C (dilation and curettage) performed to medically end the pregnancy for our safety, nor the intense emotional grief that comes with the loss of our baby and the future we had imagined for ourselves and our little one.
START THE COURSE
If you have experienced the devastation of pregnancy loss, this course will enable you to move from a place of darkness, pain, uncertainty and sadness, to a space where you can continue a healthy and positive fertility journey, by healing four crucial aspects of the self: body, mind, spirit and relationships.
After this course, you and your partner will have the tools, knowledge, power and community support to move through grief and to enter a space that allows you to joyfully and confidently create new life again, while ensuring the memory of your beautiful baby will never be lost to you, held in your heart forever.
I founded Evalonne with the belief that every woman deserves to genuinely understand and believe in her innate capacity to nurture life, and heal from the experience of incredible loss. The journey is ongoing for all of us, but we're in it together.
This course has been created by women who have experienced the sense of grief and loss that you have. It also brings together registered medical, mental health and holistic health professionals to guide parts of the journey. The content in each course module is outlined in detail below.
Shock, confusion and devastation hit hard at the start. Learning how to cope physically provides strength for the emotional journey.
In this module you'll learn from Dr Gary Bourke (FRANZCOG) about the physical recovery process across your medical care:
Tools for this section include a surgery recovery checklist and video how-to's for wound care.
Grief recovery is not a linear, logical process. This is why creativity can open doors that other recovery approaches are unable to replicate.
In this module we'll cover healing creative exercises including songwriting with professional music producer Simon Moro.
Tools for this section include a song writing team, tools for poetry writing, painting ideas and more.
Knowing what to say, who to tell, when, and how to ask for the type of support you need makes an incredible impact on how you process grief.
In this module you'll get guidance on how to communicate with others and help them communicate with you during your most difficult moments.
Tools for this section include communication templates and scripts, and a one pager to help educate different people on what you're going through.
Your gut, liver and kidneys need your support to regain their full potential and ensure you can conceive healthily when you're ready.
In this module we'll cover a range of helpers to help give you back a sense of energy:
Tools for this section include recovery recipes, a supplement checklist and recorded sleep yoga sessions you can play before bedtime.
Sitting with and working through your emotions cultivates the resilience and the vulnerability you'll need as you move forward in life.
In this module we'll cover five recorded meditation sessions. In each, we tackle a different emotions:
Tools for this section include the recorded meditation sessions, pregnancy loss mental health resource list and music, book and song lists.
Whether you believe in God or not, loss can be uniquely and powerfully explored using spiritual connection and gentle, non-religious rituals.
In this module we'll cover practical activities and approaches for:
Tools for this section include quick links list and how to's for gardening, burials (if needed) and more.
There is nothing anyone can say that will take away your pain. But you can gently nurture your mind, body and spirit as you journey through recovery.
You can do as much or as little as you want, and in the order that suits you.
With sisters who are here to give you big hugs and a place to vent when you need it.
Advice from registered medical professionals who care about your wellbeing.
Get tools that help you do more than talk about your feelings, and to take action.
This course is by donation only. The donations are designed to help each of us "pass it forward" to another woman, so we can reach and help as many people as possible, all around the world.
If you are on Centrelink or are going through financial hardship, contact us to get free access to this course.
ONE TIME DONATION
Your donation will allow one other woman who has experienced loss to access to the course. (You get access too).
ONE TIME DONATION
Your donation will allow two other women to access the course, and send a hospital recovery package to one woman in need. (You get access too).
It's for anyone who has experienced any type of pregnancy loss before birth. It's most suited to women who have had a loss before 12 weeks (not a still birth).
Read some of these statements of pain below and the possibility of evolution that this course aims to impact:
I feel like nothing, will ever make me happy again. I don't have the motivation to do anything, and I don't know how I'll get to a place where I have it in me to continue the journey.
Possibility: Be introduced to approaches that help you find your way back to a sense of routine, normalcy and strength to drive your motivation to continue your journey.
I feel jealousy, envy and anger every time I see someone else's baby joy. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Possibility: Feel a sense of calm, and you'll no longer try to avoid the joy of others, or children or baby things. And each moment where a trigger appears, will no longer feel like a stab through your heart with a knife.
I don't know how to "try again". Or, I'm scared to try again. I don't know how to have the conversation with my partner and I'm afraid to talk through it.
Possibility: Confidently sort through your emotions around how and when to try again. And you'll feel comfortable having a "trying again" conversation with your partner if you're in a relationship, while also finding ways to build sexual intimacy once more.
I'm angry that I've had something taken from me (surgery). I feel like I didn't have time to process it all, or I was misinformed, or didn't have enough information either before or afterward.
Possibility: Understand how medicine works, how the medical professional operates, and how informed choice works. How that fits with your story, and how you can come to terms with the decisions that you had to make, may have been made on your behalf without your full awareness, or that you still need to make as you recover.
I'm in pain and feel like shit from the surgery or other medication to end the pregnancy I had so wanted.
Possibility: Gently work with your body, to understand where it is at in its recovery cycle, to identify any issues and to take the time you need to physically recover.
I feel guilt, like maybe it's my fault, like there was something I could have done.
Possibility: Start the process of letting go of any guilt you may feel around past choices that could have contributed to your loss, and learn how to reframe your experience away from self- blame.
I'm so...everything...devastated, heartbroken, fearful, angry, jealous, frustrated. And I don't know what to do with all my emotions. I don't know how to express everything I'm going through.
Possibility: Helpful, kind, constructive and creative ways to express all of your emotions in a safe space. To let them out instead of keeping them all bottled up.
I'm in shock. I went from this place of happiness that we were finally pregnant, to that being ripped away within weeks.
Possibility: Realign your old reality to what is now your new reality. Make peace with the transition.
I hate my body. I'm angry at my body for not being able to do better, for having done this to me.
Possibility: Begin to give your body forgiveness, and discover ways you can start to trust in the wisdom and strength of your body again.
I feel like I'm drowning, like I have no support and the people around me who I thought I could count on, don't understand. They're so insensitive or they're telling me to move on.
Possibility: Find healthy ways to ask the people around you for support, to have honest conversations that bring you closer together, or if that is not possible, to access community and mental health support outside of your existing family and friend network.
I'm currently going through the process of loss (nearly in surgery or expectant management or Methotrexate or Misoprostol), and I'm so scared. Things are happening to my body that I don't understand and I need to know if I'm going to be safe, and ok.
Possibility: Learn about the different pathways of your body removing the lost baby, with or without medical aid. Some that you can still choose, others are pathways you may be already be on. So you have information that helps you to feel more calm in the face of uncertainty, confident in holding conversations and asking questions of your medical contacts.
This is all too painful, too hard. All I want to do is just give up.
Possibility: Reflect on questions that will help you determine how, and whether to continue your journey in the way you've been doing it.
It costs money to communicate to the public about support for pregnancy loss (for instance; flyers, Facebook advertising...etc). $29 is how much, on average, it costs us to inform one woman about the course and have her register.
We are in the process of working through the recovery package logistics with hospitals, but it involves sending a condolences card, SOAR bracelet (Sisterhood Of Angelmum Recovery) and information booklet on healing resources to women who have just been through a D&C or other surgery.
The course presenters include:
Dr Gary Bourke, FRACGP
General Practitioner and specialist in emergency surgery with special interest in obstetrics, anaesthetics and community health. Dr Bourke is also an educator for Monash University medical students.
Sabine is a trained NLP and hypnosis practitioner, currently completing her PhD in sleep and breath research and also specialises in coaching and meditation. Sabine has over 30 years experience teaching the mind body connection.
Wendy is qualified relationship counsellor with a BA (Psychology & History (UNISA) Voc and Grad Dip In Relationships Counselling (RA). Emotionally Focussed Therapy is her ‘go to’ model, with a strong relationship education background, e.g. Gottman.
Elyse is a qualified yoga instructor and former dance teacher trained at the Victorian Academy Of Arts.
Former RMIT lecturer and professional music producer, Simon Moro has worked with artists from across the globe, helping them realise their creative vision.
Michelle is an ectopic pregnancy survivor and the founder of Evalonne. Michelle is also a business owner with a Bachelor of Communications from the University of Notre Dame.
Every woman is different and our goal is to help as many as we can, so the payment is made for them. Within the first 14 days after making your donation you can choose to contact us if you're unhappy with the content.
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Our mission at Evalonne is to support women's reproductive health and wellbeing.