Why Hearing “Stop Trying So Hard” Is Devastating When You’re Infertile

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Why Hearing “Stop Trying So Hard” Is Devastating When You’re Infertile
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Author: Michelle Bourke | Published 21st March 2021

  • “Maybe if you just stop trying so hard it’ll happen”
  • “My friend was trying for 5 years and then they did IVF and it didn’t work and after that they stopped trying and they got pregnant naturally”
  • “If you stop stressing so much”
  • “Don’t think so negatively”
  • “Go on a holiday”
  • “Get a dog”

These offhand comments from well meaning friends and family members might seem pretty innocuous at first glance, but for the Infertile Initiate they can feel utterly devastating. Like some thug kicked you in the guts and you’re gasping for air looking for an answer, or a crevice to fall down between the couch cushions, or a shadow in the curtain to fade away into.

While their intentions are almost always good and they’re just trying to help - they’re usually blissfully unaware of the meta messages they’re delivering to you at the same...

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